Book Review – The Toddler Survival Guide by Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr

ThetoddlerTitle: The Toddler Survival Guide
Author: Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr
Publish Date: August 1, 2017
# of Pages: 336
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
(**Warning: Possible spoilers!**)


(From Goodreads) Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler’s case), and–upon entering your life–leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.

The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler (“Elmo’s Song,” mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler–or you–bursting into tears.

Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.


The Toddler Survival Guide reads like a doomsday zombie survival guide. From discussions on eating, tantrums, and everything in between, this book runs the gamut on toddler care.

The Toddler Survival Guide has a lot of funny moments. The descriptions of toddlers in the throes of tantrums made me laugh. Anyone who has watched a toddler throw a tantrum knows that reasoning with them at that point is futile. The authors’ descriptions were amusing and made me thankful that my children are pretty well-mannered.

While this book was a cute novelty book, it’s not something I’d purchase for anyone, expectant parents or otherwise. This book was heavy on drama, but short on useful information. A certain amount of exaggeration is to be expected for a toddler survival guide, but for me, it was overkill. With two kids of my own, one well past the toddler years, I didn’t find the book very relatable. My kids are either absolute angels (unlikely), or this book was truly over the top. I was expecting more useful information intermixed with the stories of toddler terrors, so in that regard, I was disappointed.

Again, this book was entertaining. It was a quick read that made me laugh. So if you’re looking for a funny novelty book on parenting, this is the book for you. If you’re looking for practical information, keep on walking.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing the Kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.


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6 thoughts on “Book Review – The Toddler Survival Guide by Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr

  1. I don’t have kids of my own, but I took care of my niece a lot when she was younger and although she was an absolutely amazing child (still is) I know what those tantrums can be like. I also took care of my husbands little brothers (twins) and remember having to decide whether to get one down from the banister he was climbing, or make sure the other one stopped hitting his head on the floor for no reason xD

    They really do invade your house, don’t they? xD

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It was… interesting. I remember that. Especially when they were younger and one would start crying just as the other one stopped.

        Six years is a great age difference. I’ve never understood why people want to have children very close together lol Give yourself a break from the baby age xD

        Liked by 1 person

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